lizzy the host's guide to

how to be a better guest/diner
{part one in a series}

if you've made a reservation, we will gladly hold the table all night for you. so if you are running a few hours late, please don't bother to call. if for some reason your reserved table was forfeit to another guest because of your tardiness, we will simply fell a cottonwood and craft a custom table for you. no need to thank us, we're here to serve you. just please be patient and excuse the dust. no amount of pushiness or threatening to talk to the manager will speed the process.

if you have your heart set on a booth, please don't tell me so until i've already mapped out a table for you. when i take you to said table, please look around the restaurant with a disappointed frown and grunt. say nothing, then whisper to the rest of your party. if you had done this months ago (before i became numb to insensitive diners), i would have heard you and offered you an available booth. but these days, i'm going to pretend i didn't hear you and complain about you to another staff member. another approach: upon reaching the undesired table, say "isn't there a booth we can have?" because there probably is a booth (you know as well as i do since you've just scoured the room for a seat better than the one i have so graciously offered you). so i will oblige and seat you at the booth of your choosing. but here's what you don't know: not everyone likes (or can fit into) a booth. some servers don't have booths in their sections, and i, being the diplomatic employee that i am, am trying to keep those servers happy and their wallets stuffed. so i go back up to my host stand, edit the seating chart, whose numbers you have just thrown completely askew, and then cross my fingers that i don't get chewed out by the server you just denied.

regardless of whether you were satisfied with your table, kept your mouth shut because you are passive-aggressive and would have preferred a booth, or we went through step two, please jump right into your conversation (or into your head/book/crossword puzzle) and ignore me as i offer kind words, "enjoy your meal," or "let me know if you need anything else." i completely understand that your conversation cannot be postponed .5 seconds longer and any acknowledgment of "the help" would lower your class of citizenship. same scenario applies when you are leaving the building-please don't thank me, as i have done absolutely nothing to make this dining experience pleasant for you. please don't stop to listen to what i have to say(i'm only trying to offer a parking validation)-i tend to babble and engaging in such frivolous conversation is a waste of your time of which you are so aware the cost. you are indeed better than me.

more love for nie nie

yet another fantastic benefit for nie nie. this time through etsy. lots of great stuff here with proceeds going straight to stephanie & christian. please help all you can!

22 months

this is nash at 22 months. he won't hold still for the camera, although he loves to say "cheese" anyway. he likes to take pictures of lexi and asks her to say "cheese" too. he's just a dirty, dirty little guy these days. he's become a full-blown kid, getting into EVERYTHING, making messes, running around in diapers, screaming then laughing within a few minutes, wetting the bed (okay, he's just exploding out of his diapers because he drinks way too much), and being a generally hilarious little dude. i cannot get enough of this kid.

he's become a little monkey and climbs over and into and through everything. he's been taking some naps in the big boy bed, but i'm too lazy to try an all-nighter yet (especially with the bed-wetting problem). he seems interested in the potty and likes to point out when mommy & daddy go poo-poo, although he doesn't distinguish between number one and number two. his vocabulary is increasing and he'll often pull out words i didn't even know he knew.

he's added "no" and "mama" to his regular vocab, and now when he says "please" he adds "dada" to it in one word (peasdada). but for some reason he cannot say please mama. try as i may, he says "peasdada" to me and anyone else. maybe he's not quite grasping two-word sentences yet...

he's been off his binki for over a week because he started developing a rash under his lip. but the rash thrives on, so i'm not sure which is more ugly, an almost-two-year-old who still uses a binki or a red, bumpy rash all over his face (which used to remain hidden by said binki).

nash is not only acting like a kid, but he's growing into one too. his stats today:

weight: 30 lbs./79.8%tile
height: 33 5/8 inches/45.1%tile

4 months already?

i can't believe this little girl is already four months (17.5 weeks) old today. the time seems to be flying by so much faster than it did with nash. i think i'm getting better at this mom thing and am enjoying it more and more each day. haven has been getting happier as each day passes, too, spending less and less time crying and more and more time smiling and laughing and learning. her a.r. is finally under control and we haven't had a freak-out in over a week. she wakes up giggling (sometimes a little too early in the morning) and screams with excitement when we go to her crib. she's quite a happy screamer and knows how to get her share of mom's attention. she loves to be held, but is content to lay and watch me play with nash. she's sitting up with a little support, rolling over and inching on her tummy, and sleeping like a champ. she scrunches her nose and raises one eyebrow when she smiles (i've yet to capture this on camera). and best of all, she and nash have an amazing relationship that blows my mind and makes me so proud. i hope every day that they will remain the best of friends.

that's right folks, it's my 300th post! woot woot! some of you are new here, and a very few of you have been here since my first post back in march 2007. a big thank you to all my faithful readers. we've laughed, we've cried, we've seen too much, we've bragged, we've complained, we've raved. and we've become friends. it's amazing to me the power of this blogosphere. i've made friends i wouldn't have otherwise and i've reconnected with old friends. i am a complete addict (you know that already).

so i'd like to know a few things:

1. who are you and why do you care? please leave a comment-you blurkers,you. (is that a rude way to put it? i've just been wondering for a while when i see how many hits i have on my blogpatrol from people i'm not sure i even know. just let me know you're reading, and i'll be sure to do the same if i read your blogs. this internet can be a creepy place, so let's make ourselves known.)

2. whether you're a blurker or a regular commenter here, what do you care about? take a moment, if you will, to take the poll in my sidebar so i know what you guys like to read about. it doesn't mean i'll change, but i'll consider it! afterall (and i've said it before) this is my blog. but since i'm putting it up here on the internets, i suppose you deserve a say too...

here's to 300 more! (okay, there's really no significance to "300", but i logged in and saw i was there and it was exciting-it's a nice big, even number.)

number 3...

is not on the way. if this post showed up in your google reader today, rest assured i am NOT pregnant again. i was just playing a little catchup. i backdated that post to the actual date of haven's ultrasound and i didn't think it would show up in reader. if i were 20 weeks pregnant right now (is that even possible? um, no) i'd consider killing myself.

3...

holwonder tagged me ages ago, and until alison (who was also tagged) posted her tag today i totally forgot. let this be a reminder to my fellow bloggers: i abhor these things. as lucille bluth put it, "if that's a [tag for me], i won't hear it and i won't respond to it." but the kids are sleeping, so what the hay. if you are bored, enjoy. otherwise, skip away-i won't be offended.

joys

• my family, especially seeing nash as a sweet, helpful big brother.
• summer: sunny days, sleeping in, bbq's and eating outside
• days where i have time to play with the kids and still cross of my to-do list

fears

• my kids being kidnapped. and in this ghetto it's not totally unlikely!
• not being able to raise my children (because of my MS)
• stevie or one of my kids or anyone i know, really, dying before me

goals (other than to raise happy, healthy, independent kids with sound morals & priorities)

• to have a real garden next summer
• to ride my bike enough that stevie isn't mad that he bought it for me!
• to live "in the now" and quit thinking about "better" days ahead.

obsessions (other than blogging)

• DI (that's like the Salvation Army for you non-Utahns)
• black & white cookies
• house stuff-keeping it clean, home improvement projects, decorating

random surprises

• i like to skinny dip
• i HATE when people start their post entries with "so" or "well". like this: "so, today i .." and then it's a laundry list of stupid crap from the day. i stop reading right then and there. or when people say "you know who you are."
  
• i really want to have a panic room when and if we ever have a "real" house. sometimes i just want a dark, quiet hole to go into when i'm feeling overstimulated. i think it's something to do with MS because this is a relatively new thing. and when i'm feeling frazzled, all i can think about is the movie "stepmom" where susan sarandon has cancer and smokes weed in her backyard in the winter...the idea itself just calms me down...but i've never even tried the stuff. and unless we move to california and my neurologist prescribes it for me, i likely never will.

just to pass along the dread and anxiety that comes with these things (or is that just me?): fraggle, jrok, & buddens you have been tagged!

bright idea

i've been looking for inexpensive lamps, but have yet to find anything i really love. i got this lamp on clearance at target for $13.98 and figured it would at least get us through the dark winter ahead. i decided to try and vamp it up, so i used some beverage napkins purchased at tjmaxx for $1.50 and voila! $15.00 and a half-hour and i have a one-of-a-kind lamp that i actually really like! i can't wait to see it at night...

laughs!

sundance/alpine loop

i took a drive up sundance canyon and part way through the alpine loop on sunday to take some scenic photographs for a project. i wanted to take more of sundance's resort, but it was swarming with people. i'll have to go back again soon, but i liked a few of the ones i got this time around.

the evening sun

i love utah in the fall.
warm days & cool evenings.
sweet, juicy grapes and seed-spitting.
low evening sun.
and, of course, my nash potato, who had to be convinced of the goodness of said grapes. it wasn't too hard-i just had to pop a few sweet ones in my mouth and say "yum yum," and he then ate about thirty himself with nothing but smiles.
it's so fun to watch him explore his new(ish) world.

tales from the ghetto, part two

last night i went to work for a few hours, grossing forty five dollars. fabulous, right? no, but i do it mostly for the sanity. for an excuse to get out of the house, away from the kids, and still feel like i'm contributing. well, last night's "going to work" excuse failed me. because when i came out to my car this is what i found. my forty-five bones is not going to cover this and my sanity is slowly slipping away. some passerby just threw his elbow into the window on the off-chance there was something good to steal. which there wasn't-he got away with a super old 15 GB Ipod that, although has a stellar collection of music, doesn't work unless it's plugged in. he's going to be sorely disappointed. he would have been better off stealing stevie's U parking permit.

i'm not trying scare off all you guys who dream of living in salt lake city, but i'm pretty sure that "this is [not] the place." not anymore.

not today.

this morning i thought to myself, 'i'm gonna get stuff done today!' i'm going to get out of the house, run some errands with two kids in tow (still haven't done much of this), and enjoy the day. apparently stevie had other plans for me. i got the kids all cute-d up and fed, diaper bag packed, and headed out the door, only to find that steve had taken the passat to school. the passat that just so happens to have nash's car seat, the double stroller, the baby bjorn, and the sling in it. leaving me with the element and only haven's car seat and a single stroller. i can't see any way around this. so i'm putting my sweats back on and staying home. i guess i earn some credit for trying, right? maybe tomorrow we'll make it into the right car. and if we're really lucky we'll go somewhere.

of course, i couldn't waste an opportunity for a little photo shoot...she was all dressed up with nowhere to go!