my fam

our fam

we had our family pictures a few weeks ago and i just got them back last night. here are a few favorites for now! i love that we got some shots of just me & steve-we don't have enough of those!

thanks, jessie-you always work magic with that camera!


today i'm


hollywood juice cafe's prized tomato basil soup for tomorrow's halloween road rally (i am sooooo excited!)

costumes for me and steve: think fleece, styrofoam, and pipe cleaners. any guesses?

halloween cake pops for saturday's party


to monsters sing about a town called halloween! (my spooky playlist here)

to nash ask me "what skeletons say? what ghosts say? what witch say?"

to haven saying "iwantha" over and over whilst pointing at the candy jars...

which are nearly empty. we've now consumed 3 bags of candy corn taffy and a ton of assorted chocolates.

because november 1st is the start of "healthy liz: phase 2." no candy* or soda. which, of course, means i've been eating nothing but candy and soda for the last two weeks. phase 1 (no meat) has been a smashing success-i haven't even been tempted by the meats. thank you, thank you.

now, off to create some more halloween magic!

*with the exception of a minimal amount of chocolate based on specific guidelines.


fluttering from the autumn tree

we've been playing in the leaves. fall happened on sunday. just out of the blue, we looked outside and it was raining gold. we raked, then jumped. and made dad clean up.

i am quite sure i am going to miss the fall most of all.


pumpkin patch

we took a family trip to the pumpkin patch today. or what is, apparently, a standard pumpkin patch around here- a field of pre-picked pumpkins lined up in rows. we've tried a new one every year and they're all equally lame. where can you find the real deal? where there are orchards and apple cider and pumpkins still on the vine and hay rides? i realize it's the desert, but come on! this is one less thing to hold up against las vegas*...oh, i haven't told you, have i? we're moving to las vegas! bevie accepted a clerkship starting in september, so we'll be packing up and heading to the real desert mid-summer. we're mostly excited, but dreading the actual move and selling the house and starting over.

*my sil just posted about their recent pumpkin patch trip and the sight of the dead fields made me cringe. i immediately thought, "this is what we'll be doing next year...ooh." until today when i realized utah isn't much better and there are no real pumpkin patches anymore.


feeling good

i feel SO much better.

well, relatively speaking. you see, about two days after i finished up my last session of iv therapy i started to feel really gross. my arm started to hurt, chills & fever, GI problems, headaches, and my skin was achy. i went in for a slew of tests (including swine flu) and they all came back negative. they gave me a splint for my arm which had developed tendonitis as a side effect of the steroids. and then i got a 24-hour flu (or something). and then i got a cold. but then today i woke up feeling good again-except that my arms are still really tingly. i'm thinking i can deal with some tingles after a week of feeling generally icky. i've had one round of MRIs and am waiting for the pre-authorization to go get the next round. and i've found a new doctor who is rumored to be amazing, who specializes in MS. of course, i can't actually meet him until december...he better be worth the wait!

nash and haven have been in heaven with playdates galore, giving me some good rest. pizza has been delivered, veggie meals dropped off, and my house is still sort of clean despite my "taking a break." it's fall, the halloween decorations are up, the weather is awesome, the leaves are falling, and my kids are cuter than ever. if there's one good thing about this crummy disease, it's this: it makes me appreciate the good times, slow down, and enjoy life. i can handle that. i can handle this. i will be okay.


surprise shower

my sister-in-law, holwonder, is having her fourth and final baby (a girl) in just a few weeks. so we decided to throw her a surprise shower since she is decidedly against showers for babies after the first. go figure, it turned out to be her second surprise shower of the week! we invited a small group of her closest friends and family and kept it rather simple so she wouldn't object and kick her feet too badly once she realized what was going on. luckily i had planned ahead and had everything ready before my relapse took me down. that is, except the cake pops, which my good friend, gina bina, helped me out with (my right wrist is still in a splint). she gave up her friday night and quite a bit of good chocolate (since mine wasn't good enough for her)! thanks, gina!

the party was inspired by the 'cirque du bebe' baby shower seen here. the invite front is here, and i created the back using some of the graphics found there as well. they were printed (thanks, chari) at scrappingsimply on pearl paper-the best quality printing i've used to date! zebra mini cupcake wrappers can be purchased in salt lake at gygi, or online here. zebra & solid balloons from zurchers. black glittered fern curls from tai pan (in the christmas section-thanks julia!). ribbon from roberts by american crafts. black and orange doilies from gygi.


staying in

today i can't use my right arm and nearly every joint in my body aches. and my skin? weird. this is mostly a bad thing, but i'm trying to convince myself it's a good thing: it will keep me from doing almost everything i would probably try to do otherwise and shouldn't because what i really need to do is nothing. except get better. and a little laundry.

here's to an uneventful, slow day at home. the weather is cooperating nicely (i.e. it's cloudy and cold so i know that no one is having fun in the sun without me) and the kids are worn out from a long week/weekend of fun with the cousins. wish me luck.


thank you

thanks to everyone for your sweet emails and texts and calls. it really means so much to me to know you're thinking of me. it's hard for me to spill my guts like that sometimes. i'm a pretty open person, but i'm also not the type to ever ask for help. it's even hard for me if it's offered, it almost has to be forced on me. i'm much more comfortable on the other end of things, and i love being on that end. the problem is that because i operate that way, i expect other people to be wired the same way, and let's face it: not everyone does. most people need to be asked. we're all busy with our own problems (kids, errands, chores, spouses, jobs, school, etc.), and taking on someone else's problems doesn't always fit in so well. you have no idea how many times i've lied in bed at night crying and wishing someone would just come take my kids away for a day, even an hour, because that's what i would do if i knew a friend needed it. but then i keep forgetting that no one knows what i need because i play it so cool and i don't want to burden anyone. and it's not just that, i also just keep hoping that after a good night of sleep i'll wake up all better.

two nights ago (after my doctor visit and first round of steroids), i sat on nash's bed while he said his prayers. he said "thank you mama doctor and make her all better." i melted-i hadn't really said a whole lot to him about it. then last night when i came through the door after round two, he ran to me and said "mama, did the doctor make you all better? you not sick aymore?" i only wish it were that simple. it breaks my heart to know that my kids are going to have to deal with this with me. that they're going to know i'm sick and worry about me. i'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure that they can be happy, carefree kids for as long as i possibly can.

the last few months have been a serious reality check. i DO have MS. it's here to stay. and i need to make some changes. which means i am DONE done Done eating meat. i've done it plenty before, i can do it again and forever, right? seriously, do not let me do it. do not let me eat it! do not serve it to me! additionally, will you call me everyday and say, 'liz, did you take all 20 of your supplements today?' (really, taking so many pills is like a job) and 'liz, it's 4:00, you should probably start making a delicious vegetarian meal.' i need some serious prodding and encouragement here. so there's my little plea for help. just a smack on the hand if you see me within five feet of a cheeseburger or a simple text to make sure i'm sticking to it. we'll start there. small and simple?