{my bikini bod?}

my post-partum diet has been...well, non-existent. i've had an "excuse" for just about every day, week, and month (now six of them) since nash's birth. thanksgiving, christmas, new years, my birthday-the party just hasn't stopped. i can't keep my hand out of that cookie jar! did i say "cookie jar"? what i meant by that was the five 5-lb bags of cookies that have been sitting in my pantry (i hope you noticed that that totals 25 lbs of cookies). that's right. my mom's in town...and within a few days of her arrival she usually finds her way up to logan/wellsville to the pepperidge farm outlet. this year, she decided she better really stock up-just in case the wedding/shower plans didn't include enough cookies of their own.

i've been living on brussels, mint milanos, orange milanos, and pirouline's for days now (listed in order of preference). every night before bed i think to myself, "tomorrow i will start eating healthy food...". every morning that follows i find myself sneaking cookies in the pantry before stevie bevie gets up so he can't hear my crunching (the brussels are extra crunchy). i didn't have this sugar-tooth before my uterus waged war against the rest of my body. in fact, i didn't even have this problem during the war! i craved fruit, and salad, and salmon and all things refreshing and healthy. so why, then, do i have this curse NOW? maybe it's because i can cleverly hide my tummy with my cute baby boy (with him around, no one's looking at me anyway). maybe it's because i was always lucky enough to have a flat, hard tummy with little to no effort and the thought of having to work for it now is one i just can't bare. maybe it's because now that i've made it through pregnancy, stevie bevie thinks i'm such a trooper that he wouldn't dare comment about my post-baby body. maybe i've....let myself go?

or maybe stevie bevie figured out that the only way to change this so-called diet of mine, is to put something in our pantry that isn't full of fat, sugar and chocolate. today i got home (dizzy from a day of starvation) and went straight to the pantry for a quick cookie. it was the worst battle yet-i just made it a whole day without eating junk. granted, i had to eat nothing in order to do this, but i did it! why would i ruin that by eating a cookie? well, because THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO EAT! out of desperation i decided to check the freezer....wedding cake, rhodes rolls....wait!!! chicken...vegetables....REAL FOOD! stevie bevie pulled through. my sweet stay-at-home, do-the-laundry, clean-the-house hubby went grocery shopping too! i am so damn lucky. with this sort of treatment, maybe my bikini bod will emerge from this flab before the bikini season is over!