100 things about me part uno

my mom is coming into town tonight for my brother's upcoming wedding. on top of work and mommying, i anticipate this to be a very busy time...too busy to blog? i think not...but, just in case i have decided to copy an idea of jewels' (that she copied) and do a series of postings about me. i know, i know-you have been waiting by your computers (hopefully macs) salivating in anticipation for this. you all want to know, "what is it that makes liz so bitchin?" well. i am here to spell it out for you. with 100 things about me! i'll start with fifty tonight.

1. i hate when people say "half-a-dozen." we all know that's "six," right? what's the point? it takes longer to say and is just hoity toity (or as holwonder says, ce voius plais).

2. i stole a piece of bubble gum when i was 4. i hid it in our guest bathroom hamper until my mom found it doing laundry. she made me return it.

wow. this is harder than i thought....

3. stevie bevie was the 32nd person i kissed (or who kissed me....). i was his 8th (i think).

4. we were about half-a-dozen seconds away from giving nash the middle name: radical. i wish we had.

5. i have tried to learn to play the guitar on several occasions. the farthest i got was the first line of a ben harper song.

6. i sometimes lie awake in bed thinking about home improvement projects. actually, more than sometimes; a lot.

7. i don't like shopping with other people.

8. when i was probably about 7 (?) i was extremely upset at my mother. i packed my bags (hobo style-you know, a bandanda on a stick) and sent her a note (in paper airplane form) down the stairs that said: "i'm leaving. this just isn't working out. please don't try to find me."

9. my sister once peed on me in the shower. i know, gross. but this is funny: she was standing up on with her feet on the sides of the tub and said something about her being superman. i was sitting in the tub below her, shower on, totally unaware that she was peeing on me until i tasted something a little salty...she got it good from my dad!

10. out of the 32 guys i kissed, only 7 became boyfriends. and only 1 of them became a husband. i have a very low retention rate, but this is a good thing husband-wise. right!?

11. i love paper. i love to write letters on funky paper, make my own cards and wrapping paper, and i love the smell of fresh copied paper.

12. i love to buy presents. and then making all the different parts of the present coordinate-wrapping included. i have considered employment as a gift shopper-but this requires living in a big city. so no go.

13. i really want a sugar glider. stevie bevie thinks they are scarey (cause they glide=fly)-and now that i have a kid i know i have to squash this dream, but they are soooo cute! stevie bevie wanted a pot bellied pig for a while, but we got a dog instead. boring!

14. our song (stevie bevie and me) is michael bolton's "said i loved you, but i lied." i got it engraved inside his wedding ring.

15. we have a wine collection consisting of 10 bottles. i've never tasted wine.

16. my first job was at burger king. second was wal-mart.

17. the state of utah has a warrant out for my arrest! yikes. i just can't get myself down to the station to pay my $89 ticket that i never knew i had!

18. i've only had fake nails three times in my life. and my wedding wasn't one of them.

19. i was sent to in-school suspension for 2 days for mooning on the bus home from an away volleyball game during my senior year. turns out it was one of the freshman's mothers.

20. i was never nominated for court for a dance in high school.

21. i was "scouted" by modelling agencies three of the four times i went to NYC. (if you've seen me lately you'll know this was years ago! i wouldn't stand a chance now). i even won a modelling competition in my state, but it turned out to be a scam.

22. when i was in elementary school i was obsessed with stories of slavery and the underground railroad. i would cry my eyes out reading stories about the slaves' failed escape attempts. harriet tubman was my idol.

23. i hate jane austen books (and the movies too).

24. i am obsessed with dark chocolate. even still, i would gladly choose thai ruby's coconut sticky rice with a fresh mango half on top over a dark chocolate morsel anyday.

25. i have a weakness for men playing harmonicas. stevie bevie doesn't think it's all that great, but it makes me weak in the knees.

26. when stevie bevie and i were dating, he played the piano for me at his parent's house and i totally lost it and started crying. he swept me off my feet.

27. my favorite holiday is halloween. i have an entire closet of costumes at my parent's house and a bag of my own here. i wear a different one for each event-sometimes that's a whole week of partying! last year i was a pregnant pirate. argh. i already bought nash's costumer for this year (before he was born!)

28. i love gingersnaps. my mom mails me bags of them over christmas and that's all i eat for days.

29. in high school my two different gym teachers pulled me aside to confront my "anorexia" problem (which didn't exist). my mom called them both and asked them if they haven't ever seen my brother. ha.

30. i love when people say "clearly." don't ask my why, but it makes me chuckle.

31. luke wilson would be my second husband in heaven. if that didn't only apply to men, but let's not get into that cause it's creepy.

32. i graduated college with a BS in Landscape and Urban Horticulture. since my graduation i haven't landscaped a thing. not even my own yard.

33. alright! yay for me-15 down and 85 to go. more to come....

34. i hate the smell of syrup. it reminds me of those gross kids in kindergarten whose mom's didn't wipe their faces or make them brush their teeth after breakfast.

35. my dad once made me eat cheerios in orange juice (i had tried to throw them in the sink when he wasn't looking, so that was my punishment.) it tasted like puke.

36. i'm a sucker for cool product packaging.

37. my favorite color is green. followed closely by turquoise.

38. i have more christmas decorations than i do every-day decorations. my house looks lush during the holidays (comparatively).

39. i have had 7 cats, 2 dogs, 1 rabbit, 4 parakeets, and billions of fish in my lifetime.

40. when i was little i got a red wallet as a gift. i went to church with my dad (he travelled to other wards) and overheard him saying to someone that brother so-and-so needed a new coat. brother so-and-so's elbows were torn. so my dad gave him the one he was wearing. i gave my wallet to brother so-and-so's son.

41. i have a folder in my email account labeled "dad's epistles." he hates to talk on the phone and prefers to send us very lengthy emails about all sorts of subjects. i keep them to look back on. someday i'll make them into a book.....

42. my mom has a degree in spanish (this is a funny joke for my family members). she really does, but one day at family dinner we made fun of her burnt hamburgers and she broke down and cried out "i have a degree in spanish." probablly not funny to the outsider, but we still quote it.

42. i am the oldest of three children. i always wished i'd had an older brother, so i was happy to know that, since my first child is a boy, if i ever have a girl-she will have an older brother.

43. i have been to germany, austria, switzerland, and france. all in three weeks.

44. i still correspond with my third grade teacher, Mrs. Presco, and my high-school art teacher, Mrs. Hood-Terman.

45. i am afraid of heights. but i'm overcoming this the more i climb with stevie bevie.

46. i am really good at balderdash (a lying game), but i can't tell a real lie without laughing.

47. i bought my first pair of seven jeans 2.5 years ago and still wear them. they are trashed, but i love them.

48. i am obsessed with having a clean house, but i can't manage to hang my clothes up. my bedroom, closet, and bathroom look like a bomb went off.

49. i love sun. tannning, swimming, and laying out. skin cancer is definitely on the horizon.

50. i have always been attracted to "reformed bad boys." when i was dating around, i used this as a qualifier : "he has to look like he's at least touched a joint." ha. what was i thinking?


Jewels said...

I LOVED this! K, a few things - I never knew you loved Halloween! Since you have read my blog, you know that I am OBSESSED with that Holiday! Also, my house at Christmas? Stuffed to the rafters with decor - there isn't a corner that is safe from Holiday cheer. SEVEN JEANS! I had to laugh, I too got my first pair two years ago for Mothers Day from Cody - I had wanted some so bad for so very long. I still have them and they are thrashed. Finally, I am always worried about my house being clean - but my bedroom? Lookout, it has messy cancer and it's spreading...

Jason said...

This was good. I'd never be able to reach 100. Or 50. Or 20.

I remember #19, and I can't believe #29. Ugh, high school and those teachers. I wonder what ever happened to Mr. Eichholtz. Or Mr. "K" / "Teacher X."

And #20? FHS dances? Ick. Be thankful you didn't arrive on a tractor.

Peter A. Greene said...

I remember both your mooning infraction and the "concerns" about your eating disorder. I also remember you as the first student to deduce that I was dating another teacher.

Mike E is back in Franklin; I couldn't tell you what Coach K is up to these days.

But tonight is Prom at Franklin-- and they will once again lay down the red carpet, and tomorrow this year's juniors will add their names to all the other names signed on the back of it.

lizzythebotanist said...

oh, the red carpet. i remember combing the whole state of PA trying to find a suitable one. we finally just had to piece it together...i thought it was such a smashing idea. i can't believe they are still using it! that's way better than being prom queen!

i can't believe you all made it through the whole list! it took me nearly an hour to make, but i didn't think anyone would bother reading it....so long. 50 more coming...

jewels-steve just got a packet from the U of U Law School and there was a sheet in it about special events. One is a halloween party/costume contest and i got really excited. i might need your input. i already have nash's costume and our whole family's figured out, but i'm not sure if it's contest worthy...maybe more of a church party worthy....

Jewels said...

Oh my gosh - I have the PERFECT costumes for you guys! That is...if you're game...it involves spandex and little Nash would be the perfect age...see me for more spooky details! Mmmmwa-ha-ha! And fear not - Cody and I always have two sets of costumes each year. One for the Church Party and one for our Halloween party (which you should come to this year!!).

lizzythebotanist said...

done. deal. details on spookiest costume please.....

i got nash a shark costume and we were planning on being attacked swimmers with missing limbs....

Amy D. said...

I LOVED this and can't wait for the next 50. I feel like I know you so well...yet we have talked what? 3 times in person. That is funny

Jason said...

Oh thanks for the update, Mr. Greene!

Umm, I never got to sign a red carpet. Ahem.

And are we supposed to have reunions or something? And now that the Franklin Club is closed, where will we go?

lizzythebotanist said...

what???? the franklin club is gone? my hometown is going downhill fast! we can have our reunion in mr. greene's backyard! i'll tell the committee.....who is that, anyway?

Jason said...

The Franklin Club went bankrupt, and is just a empty building. Liz, you really have to start reading The News-Herald / The Derrick online (http://www.thederrick.com/)! It's so...something.

I have no idea about the committee! But, please, let me at least accomplish something before we have a reunion. I need at least a year. Or two. I know, I know, I've had since 1999 (holy crap), but an additional year could make a real difference.

Steph said...

You are such a funny writer! I also hate Jane Austen books. Seriously hate them. I thought I was the only girl who didn't love them. And the movies? I can't stay awake through any of them!